Thursday, December 28

Silentbazz review of the year 2006..

Well the new year is just around the corner and, like those cheap telly programmes that fill two hours and cost nothing to produce, we're going to take a moment to reflect the past twelve months before we launch into another year of blogging..

January began with me setting out my intention of quitting the evil cigarettes, and that I was going to do it using Alan Kerr's book. I envisaged the first couple of months of the blog being a diary of a quitter, but it only took a single visit to a shit supermarket to lose that unique narrative angle. The highlight of the month, as far as the posts went anyway, was BT introducing Tom Baker as the voice of the text messages.. oh we wasted some text bundles sending them in the office. Laugh? We nearly shat.

Oh aye, I began February predicting that this would be my last year in the IT industry.. I wish.. Still even I'm surprised at how early into the year I began bitching about work!! In fact I must have started Feb in quite a depressed state, even contemplating Dead Celebs.. It must have had something to do with the fact that this was the month I finally quit smoking!

Well we had a wintery start to March, which didn't seem to dampen my smugness at being able to particpate in No Smoking Day for the first time. And it was amazing that I didn't start all over again, as March saw the builders move in (not a euphamism) to rip out the bathroom, which went quite smoothly until a massive balls-up at the end. However, that was nowhere near as disturbing as some other sights that month.

So we were getting close to finishing off the bathroom, which was music to my ears as having to use the loo at work, was becoming a bit of a strain. Not that it stopped me ranting.. ranting about telly's behind the bar and Microsoft Word. When I should have focussed on the groovy things in April like Liverpool getting to the F.A. Cup Semi Final, and finding Pimp My Snack.. Possibly the most interesting thing that happened though is that Liz and I tried to predict the future of the sex of out (at the time) unborn baby by trying lots of Old Wives Tales.
By the way, the superstitions were right, in the end so there must be something in it all..

May saw the happiest day of the year..
Yes! Liverpool won the FA Cup Final!!! No, I'm kidding, the happiest day of the year came a couple of weeks later. But still I was made up to actually get to Cardiff, after my daughter had threatened (on more than one occasion) to arrive early. It would seem that daddy giving up drinking for a month wasn't enough of a sacrifice for my daughter. Not much else seems worthy of a mention, but I will mention a few things like George Lucas is still a cunt, we will take a moment to reflect on the passing of Vera, and we will take time to remember the best Eurovision for years!!

Well June saw the World Cup happen, but let's not talk about that (nor that cheating cunt Ronaldo).. Due to me getting used to having a small demanding female in the house (no, not the wife, I just about got used to her by then) there weren't that many posts of note.. Did get to see the Foo Fighters though, who were awesome! Just as well, as work continued to suck.

July began hot, but it wasn't the sun making my blood boil -oh no, it was George Lucas. Being a cunt. Again. And I was probably annoyed that a fadge cost me several packs of donuts, but never mind.. Despite losing my voice, I still managed to moan about Average Speed Cameras, shit horror films, and the Moose-fucker in Big Brother.

A company bonus was announced in August (as the company was "Sold to the USA!!"), which meant I went off in search of a laptop, and the result of that search is currently being employed to write this post.. so it all worked out okay in the end, didn't it? The real important laps, though came on the Stag Do early in August.. where we saw my mate Mike Duffy won the entire event at Daytona! Goat emails began their popularity in August too. Big Brother finished in August too, but my calls for people not to vote for Pete fell on deaf ears obviously.. Sometimes I do wonder why I blog at all.. Oh well, c'est la vie and all that

Summer was coming to an end, the transfer window shut, and thoughts turned to the imminent wedding. I did manage to downgrade my PSP this month though, so that it would play lots of homebrew and dodgy downloaded games - hurrah! In sad news, Steve Irwin lost a fight with a stingray.. and I discovered that Sky Broadband was shite.
Main event of the month though, was the second happiest day of the year: My Wedding. Not that it stopped me blogging for y'all though!!

October got off to an expensive start as the telly blew up, which meant I had to go out and get a HDTV.. However it did give me an excuse to go out and get an XBox 360 too so it's not all bad news. The website of the month had to be the TV Theme Tunes online site (where most of my ringtones are now derived from), which meant I had some cool choons to listen to whilst I remembered the McRib. Things got a tad surreal, I got a shiny new phone, and Lost returned - yay! So not a bad month after all..

Well we tore into November, Sky nicked Lost from Channel 4, I was "disappointed" at the Foo's, but impressed at the Genius of Diet Coke and Mentos. And although my favourite night club from my Uni days burned, Birmingham still managed to deliver a grand day out at the Good Food Show..

It's been a slow month, blog-wise.. we did welcome another member to the XBox fold though. I went to see, and immensely enjoyed, the Tenacious D movie, and we revealed the results of the first ever Silentbazz Blog Usage Survey - thanks again to everyone who took part in that and gave us such interesting results. I shall be incorporating suggestions made into future posts. Meanwhile others were predicting an end to blog posting altogether - ha! Never! And finally, I got an early Xmas presie when my daughter started yapping and, like most women, she has not shut up since!!

Well that's it, the highs and lows of 2006 summarised in a single post. Hoping for a quieter 2007, but I'm sure I'll still find things to bitch and moan about, so drop by next year for more of the same. Til then, Happy New Year to you and yours! This doesn't necessarily mean there will be no more posts until january, but it's a nice get out clause if I cannot be arsed to do any more. Cheers. Catch you soon.


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Wednesday, December 27

Gratuitous fun..

Not had much time on the ole Xbox with Xmas tying up my time (between kids, family coming round and the amount of Xmas telly nicking prime television time, I have hardly had a chance), but when I have, I have been mostly playing Dead Rising.

Sock, slick, survival horror at its best.. and some very amusing ways to kill of the undead.. If you like your zombiles, you'll love Dead Rising..

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Monday, December 25

Merry Xmas Y'All

Just a quick post - sorry there have not been many this week.. but with both Liz, I and both of the kids ill with a combination of colds, stomach bugs and teething (only Kirstyn for that one) combined with my parents arriving back home from Spain, and having to ferry them round the shops to do all their Christmas shopping at the last minute and then get them over to my sis..
But in the meantime, have a great Xmas and all the best for 2007

Tuesday, December 19


Aye, I know.. only two days into my annual leave and already the blog posts are slipping.. Guilty as charged, although the kiddie-winkies have been pretty ill this week (one projectile vomiting from the top of the cabin bed, the other almost breaking through her first tooth and has a cold & a fever - joy!!)

Normal service will be resumed and all that..

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Friday, December 15

It's for charity

Clicky clicky, for charity this Christmas

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No show

So tonight is the work's Christmas do..

This means that we get twenty five pounds a head to go out and get lashed. The plan was to go into town, get some scran and then proceed to get wankered...

But you know what?
The last couple of months have been the worst I can remember working for any company, and although I'd quite to go out with some of the people, I just cannot go out on a company do. They represent to me the opposite of everything I associate with Christmas, and so going out on a Xmas do with them would make me some sort of hypocrite.. Besides that, I'm just so fucking angry at the way they've handled the last couple of months, I have concerns that after a few shandies I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue and I may well say something I later regret..

Yeah, maybe I am "cutting my nose off to spite my face". Whatever. It just doesn't sit right with me, and I'd rather just fuck off at hometime and forget about the workplace until the New Year. Maybe by then everything will have calmed down and it all might become bearable again..

So sack it..

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Thursday, December 14

The end is nigh..?

The writing's on the wall..
well it won't be online, that's for sure as, apparently blogging will reach its peak next year, according to technology predictions by analysts Gartner.

The analysts said that during the middle of next year the number of blogs will level out at about 100 million.

The firm has said that 200 million people have already stopped writing their blogs.

Gartner analyst Daryl Plummer said the reason for the levelling off in blogging was due to the fact that most people who would ever start a web blog had already done so.

"A lot of people have been in and out of this thing," Mr Plummer said.

"Everyone thinks they have something to say, until they're put on stage and asked to say it."

Last month blog tracking firm Technorati reported that 100,000 new blogs were being created every day, and 1.3 million blog posts were written.

Technorati is tracking more than 57 million blogs, of which it believes around 55% are "active" and updated at least every three months.

So is this the end..?
Naahh, fuck it, I have too much bile to get off my chest, I'll still be here next year (sorry, about that). Mind you, I've been doing this on and off for two and a half years now (around March/April 2004 was the first version of this blog, check the archives!!), surely writers block will kick in soon..?

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Wednesday, December 13

I wish I didn't loathe programming so much..

If I did, I'd probably be more excited about the news that Microsoft has made tools available which will allow hobbyists and students to create games for the Xbox 360.

From BBC News:
"The software, which has been trialled since August, is being billed by Microsoft as a first step towards a YouTube for videogames.

Would-be developers will be able to use the tools program, called XNA Game Studio Express, to develop and share games via the Xbox Live online service.

DIY games will provide a contrast to those with multi-million pound budgets.

While the games that can be created by these new tools will be rudimentary in comparison to the best-sellers, it would hark back to the days when games were made on a shoestring budget.

The tools are available to download for free but many may want to join the XNA Creators Club, which allows DIY developers access to technical support, white papers, starter kits and other assets to help turn the games into reality."

If you're keen to see your creations unleashed on Microsoft's latest games console, then point your browser here and make your dreams a reality

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Sense of Achievement

Yeah, check it..
395, baby.

I think I might just be beginning to get in to this whole XBox thingy. It's taken a while, I'll admit but when you have a wife and two kids, there's neither the time (nor the inclination.. well, okay, maybe a wee bit of inclination) to spend hours and hours gaming.

It's been helped by the fact that the missus is so busy doing her work in the evenings (Xmas is coming and we could use a little extra cash) and also due to the fact that telly is utter shite at the moment. There really is so little in the Sky+ planner in the moment.. Now I know that 2007 is just around the corner, and that will mean the completion of series three of "Lost", along with new series of "Battlestar Galactica", "Life On Mars", "Hotel Babylon" and (most importantly) "Doctor Who", but at the moment there is FACK ALL!!

And, apart from a couple of Christmas specials, Xmas telly looks a bit pants too..
Looks like I'll have to stay reasonably pissed all through the Yuletide season after all..

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Tuesday, December 12

Survey Results...

The results of the survey are in..

Q1. How did you first find this blog?

I know you, dumbass - 100%

Q2. On Average, do you think..

The regularity of posts is about right - 62.5%
You're bloody lazy and need to post more often - 25%
I couldn't give a toss, I complete surveys in some pitiful attempt to validate my life 'cos it makes me feel my opinion matters - 12.5%

Q3. How often do you visit
Daily - 37.5%
2/3 times a week - 62.5%

Q4. Do you like posts about..
My life (the stuff that pisses me off) - 50%
I am a left handed browser and demand more breasts! - 50%

Q5. What kind of connection do you have to the Internet?
Cable modem - 50%
DSL - 37.5%
T1 or better - 12.5

Q6. Where are you located?
United Kingdom - 100%

What other ways could I improve this blog?
1. more happy slapping videos
2. More breasts!

Thanks for the feedback, your suggestions have been duly noted!

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Monday, December 11


Sorry for the slight delay in posting this fine (fine? It was fucking pissing it down for most of the day, for fuck's sake) Monday. I seem to be suffering from a bad bout of cannot-be-arsedness.

Lord knows why this cannot-be-arsedness has struck me, I should be if not already on cloud nine, certainly in the elevator ascending towards it. After all it's my last week in work until 2007 (hurrah), it's two weeks until Xmas (hooray) and I've finished all my gift shopping (double-hooray) and I saw my team win by four nil over the weekend (rejoice! rejoice!).

But alas,
I just cannot be enthused about anything at the moment.. Even a free meal and lots of beer is failing to stir the soul, even though it should be a really good laugh..


Worry not, sure I'll pick up later.. why not check back to see if there's a happier post later



* - Same Shit Different Day


Friday, December 8

Holy Fuckalukadingdong

So we saw the Tenacious D movie last night..
Despite the megre 3 stars from the Empire Online review, I actually thought it was very funny. Sophisiticated, clever humour? Hell no, but after hearing the Tenacious D album and seeing KG and Jack perform live it was everything I had come to expect from the D.

I mean, who can fault any movie that opens with a four minute rock opera-ette featuring Jack Black, Meat Loaf and Ronnie James Dio? Add into the mix a satanic performace from Dave Grohl, a nod to a Clockwork Orange, the funniest "gig simulator" I've ever seen, and the best nob gag to grace the cinema screen in a long time, and I think it more than justified the admission price.

Plus the whole magic-mushroom sasquatch sequence was hysterically stupid - loved it!

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Thursday, December 7

Hot pick!

We're cashing in our "babysitting voucher" earlier than usual this month, although as it get's closer to Christmas we'll find it harder and harder to get a sitter anyway. However.. tonight we're out, and I'm quite excited as we're off to see
Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny!
Should be a good laugh, will post thoughts tomorrow..

And just to get us in the mood for some "D" madness.. how's about the "Tribute" video..?? Alllllrighty then:

And, yes, that is Dave Grohl playing the shiny demon..

Oh, and I "rediscovered" Project Gotham Racing last night.. it rocks, like totally

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Wednesday, December 6

Cats & Dogs

This rain, eh?
It's just a bit grim isn't it?
And it seems to show no sign of easing up.

It's just another reason why getting out of bed is becoming increasingly difficult at the moment. Especially when you have the mildly fuzzy head that I do this morning due to a couple of large single malts last night on a very empty stomach that had been emptied earlier thanks to a random case of Delhi Belly (sorry to be so graphic at this time in the morning, but you have to put these things into context, don't you?).

Anyhoo, this news item on the BBC caught my eye this morning. Apparently a survey of 4,000 readers of Doctor Who Magazine have voted David Tennant the "best ever Doctor Who" knocking Tom Baker into second. The fact the Eccleston hits third in the poll seems to suggest that the readership seem to have memories shorter than your average commerical break, but there we go. Seems a bit sudden, after only 13 episodes and a Christmas special, to knock ol' Tom off the top, but then I guess I'm biassed seeing as Tom was the Doctor when I was in the target audience demographic. Now I should just quitely tut, roll my eyes and say something like "Kids today, eh?"

Whilst we're on the subject of things Doctor Who, though.. want to see 4 minutes of the upcoming Christmas Special (including a very cool motorway chase sequence)? Course you do.

Clicky Clicky:

Oh, and, take the survey (below).. go on, for a laugh!

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Tuesday, December 5

Usage Survey

Hey, thanks for visiting..
Please take a few minutes to complete the silentbazz blog survey
Created cos I was bored

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Another joins the fold..

There's another XBox 360 owner in the office:

I'd forgotten how impressed you are when you first get the console up and running and find that a) it just works.. there's no hassle, no fuss, it does exactly what it says on the tin.. and b) it's frikkin' awesome.. the games rock, the graphics totally rock (esp in HD), XBox Live is way cool (download game demo's, trailers, (and soon) movies and tv programmes in the background whilst you play FIFA 07) and it just lives up to what next-gen gaming should be.
Anyway judiging by the superlatives being uttered by FlipSideLive last night, I think he was rather impressed..
Just annoying that the sod's got Gears of War. Me want that!!!

"Dear Santa..."

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Monday, December 4


It would appear that my football club will be the next one to be sold into foreign ownership, if reports on the BBC website are to be believed.

There's no doubt that investment is needed, particularly to build "The new Anfield", however I was always hoping Stadium sponsorship (like the Emirates/Arsenal deal) might help with that particular cost.

Instead it looks like LFC will be the latest Premiership club to be sold on to rich businessmen from foreign shores.

I just wonder how the fans will be treated?
Do these foreign owners even give a toss about the thousands that turn up week-in-week-out, coughing up hundreds of pounds a year (even when it's a midweek fixture and the team puts on a piss-poor performance against Portsmouth). Or will just be a figure on an Excel spreadsheet somewhere? Can we expect to see ticket prices go through the roof as a result, and more corporate boxes for twats who are prepared to pay £1,000s to eat oysters and sip champagne whilst they watch the game from behind glass at a safe distance from the real supporters? After all, isn't that where the real money is..
Where's the sport feature in all these deals, I wonder?

Oh well, we shall see..

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Saturday, December 2


The first away win for the reds would just have to be the first away game that wasn't shown live or I wasn't at, now wouldn't it? Fucking typical.

Knew someone would get a battering on the road sooner rather than later, but didn't expect it to be Wigan due to our lacklustre performance against Pompey midweek..

Anyway, well done Red Men, particularly Mr Bellamy.. Four - nil. Fabby

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Friday, December 1

The Dangers Of Image Searching

The Register chips in with this warning about doing an "Image Search" on your favourite search engine..

Apparently no word is safe, not even with safe search on, "the Swines!!"

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