Wednesday, July 26

Below Average

It's not often I even glance at the local free paper, for years my only interaction with it was to pick it up off the doormat, carry it across the living room and deposit it in the bin. Even now, I rarely look at anything other than the reviews of local gigs or films out this week. It's like any local free paper, lots of "local interest" stories involving pensioners' gardens winning "Best Garden in the Street" award, local W.I. groups raising money for charity by making comedy over-sized pots of jam and local school children "showing the way" by being involved in some local "litter free zone" scheme. It's banal. It's tedious. It bores me.

I'd rather they printed it on Andrex and then at least it had the potential to serve one purpose in my household.
"Enjoy the local paper, dear?"
"Yes, dear, most absorbing"


But last week, I did notice something in there (well, actually it was pointed out to me) of interest. As soon as the kiddy-winks break up for school, it would appear that they are going to put road works on a 4-mile stretch of the motorway I use to go to and from work. The bastards! And if this wasn't bad enough, they're now rolling out the latest evil technology in the their "traffic calming" arsenal - Average Speed Cameras.

For the non-drivers amongst you, I'll explain how these work. You drive past one set of these cameras at the beginning of the roadworks, and another set at the end and if your average speed excessively exceeds the posted speed limit through the roadworks they do you. This means you pretty much have to stick to the speed limit for the duration of the roadworks. Thereby removing the fun of slamming on when you get to traditional speed cameras on roadworks. The buggers. So this will add an additional 33% of time onto my journey to work. I will not be happy, I can tell thee.

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