Oh, Brother

So the seventh series of Big Brother steamrollers it's way towards the final this Friday, and I for one will be glad to see the back of it this year. Which is a shame, as I usually enjoy the show (think what you want about it, I still find it a nice distraction between football seasons). However this time, the producers seem to have picked their winner in week two and the show has been heavy-handedly forcing the issue ever since.



Now even Pete seems sure of his "Divine Right" to win the show, even threatening to stall his belief in heaven (as in the afterlife, not the Gay Club) if he did not get the £100,000. Hmm.. Cough. "Wanker! Indeed.

At one point it seemed that he may be given a run for the money, by Gwynedd's finest export since.. well me (just kidding, I'm not that egotistical), Glyn. And it seemed that if you voted for him that it might not be a wasted vote. However, things in the final week have changed and with only 13% of the vote Glyn seems to be trailing behind the others. Boo. Still he has learnt "life skills" like how to boil an egg and make a sandwich, so it's not been a wasted 13 weeks for him



So, if you really don't want to see the man who's had the whole show tailor-made for him getting that £100,000, there seems to be only one viable voting alternative this week.. Aisleyene.



Yeah she may be the most annoying person to ever had the chance of winning the prize, with her Ali-G style "you better know yourself, innit" lingo and the constant blubbing over the smallest thing. But hell, at least her winning be a slap in the arse for the producers who have a lot to learn about subtlety when it comes to manipulating public opinion.

This is a call..

Television is a great thing these days, it can be just viewed passively or you can interact with it. You can press that red button, you can choose your camera angles, you can influence the direction of the debate on-screen, you can determine the fate of those in the show.

Now normally for me TV is a passive activity, and never more so than when I'm watching "Big Brother". This is despite the fact that it is now so far removed from being a "social experiment" that it has become pure pantomime.. (think about it: we cheer the hero, we boo the baddies, you can almost hear the crowd shouting "He's behind you!!" on any given eviction night).

This week, though, I'm going all interactive..

Why??

Because Richard must be evicted..



I wouldn't normally give a toss but this Moosefucker decided to declare war on Wales last night, by slagging Glyn, Imogen and the country that they (and, incidentally, I) hail from. The Canadian sausage jockey had a right go, so even though Lea and her Oilies ("The SWINES!") have irritated me for weeks, Richard must go. I mean what's so fucking great about Canada? Let's not forget they've still never publicly apologised for Celine Dion, and they're all jealous and secretly wish they were American. And they fuck Mooses.
So evict Richard right now (you know you want to)..

And here's how..

Text RICHARD to 84444
(Texts cost 50p, plus std msg rate)
Call 09011 32 33 12
(Calls cost 50p, mobile and other network rates may vary)
10p from every vote will go to charity


Go on, make my day - evict the Moosefucker!

Things what I have learned this week

Appy-polly-logies (as Alex says in "A Clockwork Orange") for the lack of posts, things have been quite mad around here and sitting down in front of a computer has been way down on my list of priorities, I'm afraid.

However I have learnt somethings this week:

1. I really want Glyn to win Big Brother. Now I know a lot of you are just rolling your eyes and thinking, well surprise, surprise the Gog is backing the contestant from North Wales. However, I really do think he's the most entertaining housemate in there - by accident. Although he doesn't realise it, Glyn is a comedy genius, particularly when he is so proud of the "life skills" he has learnt in the house which include (in no particular order): learning how to do the washing up, learning how to boil an egg and learning on how to make a sandwich. Pure Comic Genius.

2. I have learnt that turf really does need an awful lot of water poured on it daily if it is to survive this mini-heatwave.

3. I have learnt that going anywhere with a two-week old baby takes at least three times as long due to the fact that every woman will stop you, coo, look at the baby and ask the following questions: "How old is she?"; "What did she weigh?" "What's her name?". Every one of these questions will be punctuated with an "Ahhh..". The worst example was in John Lewis yesterday where we were trying to compile our wedding list (although I shall be moving all the electrical items onto our wedding list at Amazon methinks, they're much cheaper). Every bloody shop assistant surrounded us, it was like a scene out of a most-menopausal "Dawn of the Dead".

4. I have learnt that watching three World Cup matches a day with my daughter is very rewarding. Going back to work next week will be a bitch.

More soon..