Bugger me, it's May

What the fuck happened?
Who nicked the last month off me?

Agh, bloody hell where did the time go..?

Alright, alright I'm not going to deny it, I have been denying my beloved blogspace, blogsphere, erm.. well blog. But things have been going on, man, things have been happening there have been

distractions

and that's not conducive to regular blog updates.. and I have already been shouted at by a number of different individuals to get my ass back and posting and so here I am now, back.. here, writing a post and everything..

So where have I been, what have I been up to?

Well I could roll out the old usual excuses for my lack of posts, for my failure to bring you your daily dose of mindless babbling.

But I shan't

I have some new excuses instead..

Intrigued?

Me too (- honestly I make this shit up as I go along)

Firstly we have a crawling and clambering (almost) toddler on our hands.. and I mean proper crawling on her knees and everything (as opposed to the funky commando crawling that she was initially doing the like of which I'd only previously seen Royal Marines do under netting). Additionally any piece of soft furnishing or coffee table is now something for my daughter to pull herself up on and stumble along whilst holding onto. Consequently neither the wife or I ave anything like a quiet minute until well after the kiddie-winkies have gone to bed, as Kirstyn is into everything, and everywhere, at quite a shockingly quick pace. It's dazzling how quick she is.

Secondly (as was pointed out to me earlier in the month) I am, bizarrely, enjoying work at the moment and this has rather robbed me of my blogging mojo. Usually it was the incompetence and the frustration of the working day that got me all fired up and angry and ready to rant. So now that I'm pairing, and using TDD, and exciting stuff like interfaces and dynamic mock objects, I feel no need to rant and rave. My thunder was stole you might say.

Thirdly.. Guitar Hero II happened and this is far and away the best XBox 360 game, nay console game, I've ever played (and the wife loves it too). So I've been using a lot of my spare time actually trying to get good at this game so that I might challenge for a couple of places on the leaderboards for this game (even if I am playing against people who seemingly have infinitely more time than I do to play video games).. and it actually takes practice and patience to get good at this game (which means I'm bucking the trend of some of my friends who play games like King Kong and Fight Night 3 which seemingly give gamerscore in the hundreds for sticking the disc in the console the right way up).

Also football has been quite distracting. 'Citing. The Reds are off to Athens! Hurrah.

But I am back (yes I'm back, yes I'm back for good) now and will make every effort to post more often..

..promise..

Come back tomorrow - you'll see

You can stick your fucking Mozart up your arse (five ways)

People used to smile and nod at me when I would tell them that Kirstyn loved the music on the Kerrang! channel. They used to inwardly, I'm sure, think "poor child" when I used to say that my daughter was always happier when listening to the Foo Fighters, or Guns N Roses or Metallica.

But, now thanks to Sky News, it seems that her love of metal from an early age will aid her in being a super genius, and therefore have the ability to financially look after her poor old dad long into his retirement.

You see, Sky Report that:
"Many parents may regard it as a deafening din, but liking heavy metal may be a sign of intelligence in youngsters.

New research suggests clever teenagers listen to it as a way of coping with the pressures of being talented.

A study of 1000 of the country's brightest adolescents revealed "metalheads" are often extremely bright.

"There is a perception of gifted and talented students as being into classical music and spending a lot of time reading," Stuart Cadwallader, from Warwick University, said.

"There is literature that links heavy metal to poor academic performance and delinquency, but we found a group that contradicts that.

"We are looking at a group with lower than average self-esteem that does not feel quite so well adjusted.

"They feel more stressed out and turn to heavy metal as a way of relieving that stress."

The study revealed those who enjoyed heavy metal often had more difficuilties in their relationships with family and friends.

One of those questioned in the survey said: "It's the general thrashiness of it.

"You can't really jump your anger into the floor and listen to your music at the same time with other types of music."

Being brainy is not limited to the music's fans though.

Iron Maiden's lead singer, Bruce Dickinson, is a history graduate as well as being a novelist and qualified commercial pilot.

The survey involved 1,057 members of the National Academy for Gifted and talented Youth."

* -thanks to Sean for the tip off!

Slowly, but surely..

The evening is being rediscovered..

Perhaps I should explain that statement.

Last week we finally had a cot delivered for the little 'un.  There was no point getting one before that as it has taken her over four months to reach twelve pounds and so the Moses basket was more than adequate for her to sleep in. 

However when you have such an ickle baby, they unfortunately only come equipped with little tummy's that cannot hold that much liquid.  Despite the small amount of food intake, however, their metabolism is still on overdrive as they strive to grow up and develop as fast as they blummin' well can.  What this meant for us is that Kirstyn never slept the night through, and -indeed- rarely did more than about five hours of sleep in one go.  So when you combine very unsleepy baby and the fact that we kept the Moses basket downstairs until we went up to bed at night, we never really had much of what you might call an evening. 

However now she's over twelve pounds, twelve pounds ten ounces in fact, is beginning to eat purees (including strawberry pudding - yum! yum!), is sleeping in her cot upstairs, and has an actual bedtime she is *almost* sleeping the night through.  So it's the return of the evening, relaxing after the kids have gone to bed, chilling out, 'tis lovely..

..

Lordy!

So the tickets to see Lordi in the Academy turned up yesterday (I know it will be pure cheese, but I really don't care. I think it will be very amusing and there may be the odd good riff in there somewhere. Anyway "Hard Rock Hallelujah" is actually quite catchy!  Where's your sense of humour gone?  You've changed, man!). Anyway when I had the tickets in hand, I glanced at the date: Sunday 29th October.  And it hit me. Did you know that I'll be married then!? So I won't be taking my fiancée with me, I'll be taking my wife!??  (Calm down I'm talking about the SAME person here, d'uh!).  This will, though, be my first gig as a married man.  Blimey. 

Now that Kirstyn is here, the wedding seems to be speeding along toward me at a shocking rate.. I mean the stag do is here in less than a month!! (http://lawofthestag.blogspot.com - if you ain't checked out the site recently, why not drop by?).  I'm glad that we got so much organised before the whole birth thing occurred as there isn't a lot to be done now (especially now that everyone has RSVP'd - big thank you for that peeps!) and I can imagine that trying to sort out anything last minute with a baby to look after (even if she is a cutie) could be a bit of a 'mare to be honest.  I'll admit that I was wrong to mock Liz's attention to detail and organisation early on, as we really don't have too much to worry about until September now..

(Touch wood and all that..  no, no, no, no, not "Torchwood" Leon, I was being superstitious).  So I guess it means that the last gig I saw a single man will be the "Foo Fighters" (unless anyone has some spare G n R tix?)..

Things what I have learned this week

Appy-polly-logies (as Alex says in "A Clockwork Orange") for the lack of posts, things have been quite mad around here and sitting down in front of a computer has been way down on my list of priorities, I'm afraid.

However I have learnt somethings this week:

1. I really want Glyn to win Big Brother. Now I know a lot of you are just rolling your eyes and thinking, well surprise, surprise the Gog is backing the contestant from North Wales. However, I really do think he's the most entertaining housemate in there - by accident. Although he doesn't realise it, Glyn is a comedy genius, particularly when he is so proud of the "life skills" he has learnt in the house which include (in no particular order): learning how to do the washing up, learning how to boil an egg and learning on how to make a sandwich. Pure Comic Genius.

2. I have learnt that turf really does need an awful lot of water poured on it daily if it is to survive this mini-heatwave.

3. I have learnt that going anywhere with a two-week old baby takes at least three times as long due to the fact that every woman will stop you, coo, look at the baby and ask the following questions: "How old is she?"; "What did she weigh?" "What's her name?". Every one of these questions will be punctuated with an "Ahhh..". The worst example was in John Lewis yesterday where we were trying to compile our wedding list (although I shall be moving all the electrical items onto our wedding list at Amazon methinks, they're much cheaper). Every bloody shop assistant surrounded us, it was like a scene out of a most-menopausal "Dawn of the Dead".

4. I have learnt that watching three World Cup matches a day with my daughter is very rewarding. Going back to work next week will be a bitch.

More soon..

Me & My Girl

No, not the dodgy 80's sitcom featuring that bloke out of "Man about the house".

Sorry, I don't mean to go on and I cetainly don't want to be one of those "baby bore" type parents. But this is just a little post to say Mum and Kirstyn are home safely now. Thanks to everyone who has sent cards and gifts, and if anyone wants to pop over then you're more than welcome, just give us a ring first so we can be sure we're in.

Normal service in this blog will be restored soon - at the moment just too happy to gripe!