Wibble! Wibble! Wibble!

I'm losing the plot..

..I just cannot take any more Microsoft word!!

"There once was a Vampire named Mabel,
Whose period's were remarkably stable,
And so, with a spoon
by the light of the moon
She'd eat herself under the table",

Oh my life..

..why am I still writing crap specs?

As a distraction, here's a few crap jokes I like:

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A Stick!

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A Carrot!

Q: What do you call a fly without any wings?

A: A Walk!

Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

A: Cliff!

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

A: Doug!

Q: What do you call a man without a spade in his head?

A: Douglas!

Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?

A: Reg!

Ooh that's enough.. naff jokes wear thin after a while don't they?

*wibble*

Yawn..

I am deep in Software Specification authoring hell.
It's a Friday afternoon, the sun is shining outside, and I'm staring at Microsoft Word.  That blinking cursor is mocking me, laughing at my lack of inspiration.  It's the last thing you want to do on a Friday afternoon really, isn't it?  I'd rather be sat in a process meeting for fuck's sake.

Actually strike that.
It was written in haste, and I didn't really think it through..
See? MS-Word is turning my brain (what was left of it anyway - which ain't much at the best of times) to mush.

I need a little lie down I think.

And a little rest..

Yes, that would be lovely.

*wibble*

Hmph

I apologise to regular readers of this blog, but today we are experiencing some technical difficulties (and I'm not talking about the fucking RSS feed - quite why that's up the swanny again I have no clue).

No, it's just that I'm feeling completely uninspired today I'm afraid, I cannot get any enthusiasm for anything this morning.  I suspect this has something to do with the niggling head cold that I've had for weeks now (ever since, in fact, I quit smoking. Coincidence?), which means for about the third night in the row I've had a crap night's sleep and I've woken up to discover my sinuses are absolutely killing me (again)..

Then, to compound this feeling of cannot be arsed-ness, just look at the weather:  It's damp, it's raining, it's miserable, it's grey.. it's hardly the kind of weather that inspires one to throw open the curtains of a morning and begin singing "Oh, what a beautiful morning" now is it?  (This is, of course, ignoring the fact that if I did do that on any given morning I'd probably be beaten to death with a feather pillow by my very pregnant better half for disturbing her slumber with my awful crooning!!).

It's also not helped by the fact that I have only a tedious Software Specification document waiting to be written when I get into work, and should I complete that I only have tedious bug fixing to be getting on with whilst the aforementioned document goes through the review/approval process.

All in all, it's a bit of a shit day.
So I intend to sit here, drink coffee and scowl for a couple of hours whilst I do battle with Microsoft Word (oh joy of joys!).. Hopefully something will pop up, brighten my day and improve my mood and should that happen, in the immortal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, "I'll be back" to share the joy.. till then, back to frowning..

Later, peeps