Who's nicked Easter?

Are you looking forward to Easter then?
Are you?
What part are you looking forward to the most...?

Is it a hollow chocolate egg, more packaging than confectionary, that despite weighing less than a multipack of Mars Bars has probably cost the best part of a tenner..?

No...

Alright then, is it the inevitable religious guff on the television, all hymns and services and "mockumentaries" propagating the myth about this geezer who was nailed to a tree only to wake up again three days later..?

Surely not...

Okay, is it the long weekend which means four days away from the toil and tedium of the workplace, only to find every road, and public place filled to busting because everyone has to "do something" on the bank holiday..

Well, the time off's nice, but when you put it like that..

No, there's only one thing to really look forward to this Easter..
Can you guess what it is..??

That's right!
Saturday night sees the return of the best programme to hit the Cathode-Ray Tube (and your fancy-shmancy LCD, Plasma and Rear-Projection screens too) since television got a couple of extra lines and went all colour:  Doctor Who! 

Hurrah!

And those of you with posh mobile telephones can get a preview sent to your phone courtesy of those nice people at the British Broadcasting Corporation.  All you have to do is text "TARDIS" to 81010, and they will send you a "Tardisode", which is essentially a 30 second trailer for the next episode of the show, allegedly featuring exclusive clips (and, in keeping with the tradition of the TARDIS, these things are relatively small in content but will appear to be absolutely fucking massive on your mobile telephone bill).  You can get the Tardisodes on your PC too, but if you have the sort of mobile phone that can play the video, you'll no doubt want to do it that way just to be a flash, smug git..

"New Earth" certainly looks interesting, and you just know that the acting, scripting and (oddly, for a British science-fiction show) production values are all going to be top-notch. 

So.. hurrah for Saturdays on BBC One!
And hurrah for the return of Doctor Who!

Time for the annual cholesterol fix

Can you believe it's been over a year since last Easter, and it's been over a year since the last Bank Holiday Gut-Buster special, too. Once again the spreadsheet of butty-ordering-goodness has been opened, and the day hath been moved back one (It's called the FBR - which we tell management stands for Friday Butty Run, but which everyone knows stands for Fat Bastard Run!!) due to the long weekend. Bacon will be fried, eggs will be scrambled, toast will be buttered for breakfast must be consumed.
So roll up, roll up, your heart attack in a styrofoam box is only 24 hours away..