Oh good god no

Sorry but this is just one step too far, people. I've seen coats for dogs, I've seen all manner of squeaky toys for dogs ("Ooh it looks like a pork chop". Oh do fuck off), I've heard that some people will pay hundreds of pounds for a haircut for their precious canine..
But this is just fucking unbelievably stupid.
People who are this obsessive about their little doggy being all worried because they're stuck in fucking traffic need to be taken outside and shot.
No, seriously
For fucks sake.
It's a fucking dog.
Just a dog
Four paws and a tale.
No dog needs a fucking Vodafone contract.
The dog will be happy enough eating the sofa, shitting on the staircase or licking it's own testicles to be bothered to take the fucking call and the dog doesn't miss them that much anyway.
In fact, because his owners make the dog go to poncy boutiques to get stupid fucking haircuts and because it has to wear a coat that makes him look like he's wearing a dinner jacker (because it's so adorable, hee hee), the dog actually hates them. And one day (because, lest we forget, every dog has his day) the dog is finally going to snap and bite off his owner's pathetic, pouting faces in a slavering fury, matting his beautifully cut coat and getting blood all over his expensive doggy dinner jacket.
Now there's a good boy, sic 'em..