Calm before the..

Well it's Friday at last, it's taken bloody long enough to get here and at some points during this week I thought it wasn't going to bloody turn up at all (you can never trust Fridays, never turns up when it says it's going to and for fuck's sake never lend it a fiver, you'll never see it again). I am trying to mentally prepare myself for the debauchery this weekend will undoubtedly bring as I try and kill enough brain cells to prevent me dwelling on the fact that I'm older again. I sincerely hope my liver can cope with what I'm about to throw at it.
That's right folks, despite all the scary stories in the press and the nanny state government trying to stop this weekend I will be binge drinking

GASP!

THE HORROR!

"Somebody Stop Him!"

Mwwwaaaaahhaaaaahahahahahahahaaa!
You cannot stop me as I have a number of establishments that will be all too glad to sell me intoxicating liquids and an urge to purge sobriety from my being.
No doubt I might have a few regrets (temporarily) when tomorrow rolls around with its bleary bright lights, headaches and hacking cough -as, health freaks, as well as binge drinking I'll also be smoking "Ah Ahhhhhh.. Telling on you"- but fuck it.

So to summarise:

I'll be drinking.

I'll be smoking.

In fact, I'll be chain smoking.

Chain smoking and binge drinking.

Binge drinking and Chain smoking.

Fabulous.

But at least I'll be doing it socially, and there will plenty of sparkling and intellectual conversations (there normally are many deep discussions on philosophy, the arts and current affairs and no-one ever, ever calls anyone else "a bummer" in The Paramount).

Anyway.. updates may be fucking thin on the ground this weekend as a result.. If I'm up to typing I have failed.

Later peeps