Arse

Noticed a wee while back that the pressure on my nearside rear tyre was a bit down. So, dutifully, I went to the nearest air machine to remedy the situation. Air machines are so cool these days, you don't have to actually do anything, just simply enter which PSi you require and stick the old air nozzle onto the tyre and it will correctly inflate the tyre automatically - no squinting to try and read a tiny gauge on the handle or anything - brilliant.
Anyway, noticed over the weekend that the same tyre was again looking, whilst not exactly flat, a little saggy.
Bugger - it's a slow puncture.
Now I wasn't actually aware that you could repair punctures on car tyres (and, yes I know, I've been driving now for nearly thirteen years) I always considered the rights to puncture repair were held exclusively by those who cycle (sat there with their inner tubes in the washing up bowl trying to find where the leak was). So in the past, I've normally just replaced the tyre (usually the tread was fucked anyway, so it's not as if I've really lost out).
But it would appear that National Tyres (and probably others) will actually repair a puncture and therefore spare you the cost of actually replacing the tyre (its embarressing not knowing this, it's even more embarressing that it's your girlfriend who points it out to you).
So yesterday I popped along to National Tyres and told the bloke in reception that I thought I had a slow puncture (when in fact I knew I had a slow puncture, I'd refilled the tyre three times by now, but it's probably best not to admit that you've been driving around with it for so long now, is it?) and could he repair it for me?
"Yes", he said.
"Fantastic", thought I, "rather than seventy quid for a new tyre, I can pay a tenner for a puncture repair and all will be well with the world."
So reversed the car in, and within minutes the tyre was off and was being given a thorough inspection.
And then the National Tyres guy said: "Hmm"
"Hmm?"
"Yeah mate, it looks like you're gonna have to get a new tyre after all?"
"What? I mean, erm, really?"
"Yeah, it would appear there are two nails in your tyre, and we're only allowed to perform one repair per tyre"
At this point he held the tyre out to me and, lo and behold there were indeed two nails in there. I felt like asking if he performed both repairs at the same time then wouldn't that be a single repair, technically, but didn't want to look like a twat.
So to cut a rambling blog entry short I ended up paying for a new tyre after all - bugger me I didn't need that in January.
Can anyone lend me a fiver..?

This morning's tunes: "Violator" by Depeche Mode - fabulous!