Remember, remember the 5th of November
Seeing as it's Guy Fawkes night tomorrow, my subconscious obviously decided that I should inadvertently get in on the act and light my own personal bonfire.. Aye, tis 24 hours early, but no time like the present, eh?
intrigued?
Then, read on, gentle reader..
It all kicked off today at the Chadderton Morrison's where I had been buying my lunch.. As I crossed the car park, laden with tasty goodies (actually I'm lying there, their lunchtime offerings are nowhere near that inspiring) I looked across at my car and thought.. "Cool, I don't remember having tinted windows".
It wasn't until I opened the car door and plumes of smoke wafted up into the chilly mid-afternoon air that realisation sank in.. err.. My car was on fire..
Well that all is a bit dramatic, but it was definitely smoldering nicely..
From what I can ascertain (in my own Scooby Doo detection stylee), the end of my cigarette must have dropped into the side compartment of the driver's door as I proceeded to exit the vehicle earlier that day. Now my side compartment is always full of crap (not actual droppings, but receipts, emails, leaflets, you know) and it was all, as luck would have it, quite combustible crap too! Joy! So whilst I carefully chose my sandwich in Aisle 2, the end of my ciggie was proceeding to burn it's way through half a dozen receipts and (probably) had designs on making a leap to the upholstery of the driver's seat and (ultimately) the fuel tank (PAYDIRT!). Fortunately, I'm not one to dawdle round the supermarket, so was in time to scupper it's plans before things could get too serious.
Fuck me, was I a lucky cunt.
Apart from the plastic of the compartment looking a little bit melty the car is completely unscathed. Aalthough it does currently smell like the inside of a barbeque - a carbeque if you will, a few hurriedly purchased car air freshners soon began to spread a nice Everglade fragrance where once it smelt of forest fire.
Just a bit angry at myself really.. what a asshole I am.. I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt from this, I'm sure some higher intelligence is trying to tell me but I'm also sure that I'm probably too fucking thick to get the message.
I tell you, some days it's amazing I can dress myself
Now, where are my trousers...?
intrigued?
Then, read on, gentle reader..
It all kicked off today at the Chadderton Morrison's where I had been buying my lunch.. As I crossed the car park, laden with tasty goodies (actually I'm lying there, their lunchtime offerings are nowhere near that inspiring) I looked across at my car and thought.. "Cool, I don't remember having tinted windows".
It wasn't until I opened the car door and plumes of smoke wafted up into the chilly mid-afternoon air that realisation sank in.. err.. My car was on fire..
Well that all is a bit dramatic, but it was definitely smoldering nicely..
From what I can ascertain (in my own Scooby Doo detection stylee), the end of my cigarette must have dropped into the side compartment of the driver's door as I proceeded to exit the vehicle earlier that day. Now my side compartment is always full of crap (not actual droppings, but receipts, emails, leaflets, you know) and it was all, as luck would have it, quite combustible crap too! Joy! So whilst I carefully chose my sandwich in Aisle 2, the end of my ciggie was proceeding to burn it's way through half a dozen receipts and (probably) had designs on making a leap to the upholstery of the driver's seat and (ultimately) the fuel tank (PAYDIRT!). Fortunately, I'm not one to dawdle round the supermarket, so was in time to scupper it's plans before things could get too serious.
Fuck me, was I a lucky cunt.
Apart from the plastic of the compartment looking a little bit melty the car is completely unscathed. Aalthough it does currently smell like the inside of a barbeque - a carbeque if you will, a few hurriedly purchased car air freshners soon began to spread a nice Everglade fragrance where once it smelt of forest fire.
Just a bit angry at myself really.. what a asshole I am.. I'm sure there's a lesson to be learnt from this, I'm sure some higher intelligence is trying to tell me but I'm also sure that I'm probably too fucking thick to get the message.
I tell you, some days it's amazing I can dress myself
Now, where are my trousers...?
posted by SilentBazz at
5:48 pm
1 Comments:
No.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home