False alarm.. Or false start!?

I don't care who you are, I don't care how brave you think you might be.. There's just something about waking up in the early morning, opening your eyes and having the first words you hear be: "I think I've been having contractions for the past two and a half hours" that makes the World fall out of your arse for a second.

Even more so when that phrase is heard four and a half weeks early.

So I clenched and I gazed across at Liz.

I thought: "She's not winding me up here. Arse."

I knew from our one and only antenatal class (so far) that the fact that she could actually tell me quite calmly that she thought she was having contractions (as opposed to screaming it whilst simultaneously pulling my scrotum over my head) meant we had a bit of time. So I suggested calling the hospital whilst I had a shower, as no matter whether we were headed to the hospital or I was heading to work, there was no way I was going anywhere without a shower.

Whilst in the shower I'd convinced myself that these were at worst the very early stages of labour (which could mean hours before we got near a delivery suite anyway) or, and most likely, practice contractions.. and I began looking forward to the yummy breakfast I had ordered at work..

Imagine my surprise when I got out of the shower, and I found out that the hospital had told us to go in.

I'm not ready for this, thought I, this is at least a month too early.

It turns out that it's a good job we did.. Liz's blood pressure was sky high when we got there (for sky high read dangerously high). Over the day it has fallen, but some anomalies in her blood tests have meant she's been kept in.

So we are not quite at DEFCON 5 yet.

But, fuck me, we were close