This is a saga now..

I wish I'd never mentioned it yesterday, but today it was a full thirty minutes before the alarm went off.. that's just taking the piss! 

However, today I am in mourning..
Last night, for the first time ever, Sky+ let me down..
And not just let me down in some silly way, like failing to record "Battlestar Galactica" or neglecting to correctly series-link a programme. 

Oh no, last night Sky+ was properly ruined. 

It all started when we noticed that "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" wasn't recording (well we noticed the little red dot wasn't on the front of the Sky Box anyway).. which was odd, as earlier in the evening we'd shuffled round a whole host of planned recordings to accommodate it (sometimes being able to only record two things at any given time is a REAL bind).  Quickly, I nipped to the Sky+ Planner to see what the hell was going on, and my better half noticed that not only were the Kitchen Nightmares not present and correct but Eastenders had also failed to record earlier in the evening (with the error message of "Disk Full" - despite the fact that the display showed 57% free).

Oh dear..
Anyway, after the football we managed to catch the last 15 minutes of Ramsay and felt that at least we'd had a sample of some of his culinary swearing -although to be honest this show is becoming just a tad repetitive nowadays:  Gordon goes in to restaurant, restaurant is serving shite food and the place is looking like going out of business, resident chef is a bit gobby (and may or may not use microwave), Gordon teaches chef to use fresh ingredients, Gordon reduces the amount of items on the menu, Gordon paints the place and then the business is magically transformed.  Now take that recipe and sprinkle liberally with obscenities and ta-daaa, you have several series' worth of programming.

So all seemed to be back on track, and after Gordon both my better half and I were looking forward to the final episode of Shameless.. However, as you do, we fancied a brew first, and so hit pause and disappeared into the kitchen.  When we got back to the sofa, it was clear that all was not well.  For those of you who don't have Sky+, when you pause live telly a big pause logo appears on screen with a counter beneath it showing you how far behind the actual broadcast you are (e.g. "-7 mins").  Despite having been in the kitchen nattering for a good five minutes the counter still read zero. 

Arse. 
And, to make matters worse, it was failing to record too!  Double arse.  Anyway, not wanting to miss any more, we ignored the fact that Sky+ was buggering about, and watched the show (which was quite amusing, but I must say I think this show has past its best too).

So the credits roll on Shameless, and it's time to sort the Sky out. Hit the ol' menu and press the Green button to access the planner.. Rather than seeing the usual display of programmes recorded and to be recorded there is simply a message: "You have no programmes in your Sky Planner".

You bloody liar! There's the entire series of "Max & Paddy's Road To Nowhere", the second episode of 24 broadcast on Sunday, not to mention half a dozen other things we haven't got round to watching yet!!

This does not look good.
Okay well, we'll try and add a recording.
Switch to the favourite channels view..
Select a programme to record
Another bastard error message, along the lines of: "Sky+ Service is unavailable, recording and live pause not working.  Call 08457..."..

Crap.
Okay, let's try a Sky Planner Rebuild, that normally works..
The Sky Planner Rebuild, as far as I can see is basically the equivalent of de-fragging your hard drive.  As whenever you run one it appears to recover the odd percentage of free recording space for you, and everything seems to run a bit better for a few weeks afterwards.

So off to the Secret "Installer Menu"(well not so secret as Sky tell you how to access it every time you phone up, plus it's all over the t'internet).  "Services", "4", "0", "1", "Select".  Right, now Rebuild.

"The planner rebuild will stop all of your recordings", I'm told.  Well the bugger isn't recording anything now or in the future at the moment so where's the harm. So, "Select" to continue..  and the box tells me it's "Housekeeping" before buggering off and going for a reset.  After a few minutes it's normally okay to switch the box back on, so we do.. Ta-daa! It all jumps back into life okay.  Right, good, "Green" for planner.

"You have no programmes in your Sky Planner".
Arggghhhh!
In the end it took a full system reset.. My Sky+ planner is back, but it is empty.. All of my recordings gone, all of my "programmes-to-be-recorded" gone.. I spent fifteen minutes trying to recall what we normally record in any given week and re-adding it back to the system (and, yes, I remembered even to add the new series of "Two Pints of Lager").  But now I am left with a feeling of emptiness and betrayal, I look at my shiny Sky+ box with a definite air of mistrust.. yes it may record the repeat of 24 tonight, but it will be some time before I fully come to trust my lovely Sky+ box again..