Well... d'uh!!!

So telly is finally getting a bit festive, you can already see the endless "Top 100" lists that are always, always presented by Jimmy Carr, you can see the Christmas Specials (where the set designer will throw up a few bits of tinsel and the person in charge of wardrobe will make sure everyone is wearing coats, scarves and wooly pullovers) and you can see Eastenders is getting more depressing..

However telly at this time of year can also become the dumbest examples of programming ever.. Take last night's Channel 4 documentary show Dispatches which offered to lift the lid on "What's really in your Christmas dinner?".

I expected some shock revelations in this, but an hour of serious documentary making exposed the following facts:

1) If you undercook the turkey you're at risk of Salmonella - gasp

2) That quite a lot of the food we eat over Christmas is fatty and not good for you - a stunned silence there then

3) That a £50 a kilo piece of salmon tastes better than a Supermarket bought salmon costing £4 a kilo - I almost shat myself at the power of this revelation, I tell thee

4) Sprouts are good for you - by this point I was a gibbering wreck at such scandalous truths being exposed before my eyes on British Television

The bint presenting this then proceded to chuck all the turkey, mince pies, etc in the bin.. What a dumbass.

Of course Christmas is bad for us, that's why we only do it once a year and why most of January is spent detoxing and complaining about how much we ate/drunk and how long its going to take to shed the pounds we gained during the Festive excess.

That's the whole fucking point.

These days it seems you're more likely to get serious hard-hitting journalism on CBeebies than prime time Channel 4. I wish I was surprised, but I'm not..