31 Days..

In a month's time "I'll be getting married in the morning".

Well, afternoon..

Does anyone actually get married in the morning?
 
I'm sure most weddings I've been to haven't kicked off until half twelve or one o'clock in the afternoon (sorry, sorry, kick off is the wrong terminology isn't it?  Got football on the brain with the Premiership starting this Saturday.  And anyway, most weddings don't "kick off" until the family have had a few bevvies at the reception).  And I can only assume that the post-noon start time is so that everyone involved can have a cheeky ale before heading to the service.  No, I can think of funerals and christenings that I have attended before noon, but never a wedding.

But anyway, yeah, the whole thing is kinda creeping up on us now and there still seems to be so many "loose ends" to tie up in the next few weeks to ensure the day runs smoothly and to plan. 

I am desperately trying to resist the "first dance" tradition at the moment, but I can see me fighting a losing battle here.  For those of you who have recently arrived at this blog having only left Uranus in the last week, allow me to explain, the "first dance" is where the dance floor clears, a ballady/slushy type song is played on the disco and the bride and groom have to slow dance together on an empty dancefloor whilst everyone stands around and gawps. 

- One: I cannot do that kind of dancing. 
- Two: Ballads/Slush aren't really my thing and
- Three: Wouldn't it just be easier for me to stand in the middle of the dancefloor holding a sign that reads "Look.  I'm being a twat."

And then you think of the songs that are traditionally played during them.. artists like Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Ronan Keating.. bleugh, bleugh, bleugh.. for the love of god, no!! 

If there are any "Veterans" of the first dance who can tell me how it is possible to cope with this ritual embarrassment, then please let me know.  I'm thinking though that it would have been a good thing to have my hip flask on me all day.